Elderly sex

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They myth that you can't or shouldn't have sex past a certain age needs to stop. If you want good sex, you better get down the gym and tuck into your fruit and veg​,” says the Daily Mirror. The newspaper reports that a. Though most people believe that the elderly don't have sexual relationships, my work with geriatric patients debunks this myth. Actually, many.

Vaginal discomfort or ED, no orgasms, the intimacy of exploration—these are just 4 reasons to try sex without penetration. They myth that you can't or shouldn't have sex past a certain age needs to stop. If you want good sex, you better get down the gym and tuck into your fruit and veg​,” says the Daily Mirror. The newspaper reports that a.

As you age, sex isn't the same as it was in your 20s — but it can still be satisfying. Contrary to common myths, sex isn't just for the young. Many seniors continue. You can have a rewarding sex life, no matter your age. These tips will help you increase intimacy and enjoyment. Though most people believe that the elderly don't have sexual relationships, my work with geriatric patients debunks this myth. Actually, many.






Sexual function and activity in old age have been inadequately elderly world over. It is important to know that aging processes are not confined to persons elderlyy the age of 60 years; many changes in elderly have their antecedents in the middle age. This study sought to determine the patterns of sexual activity and function in individuals sexx 50 years of age.

It also sought to discuss barriers such as chronic illness that may interfere with sexual function. We conducted a study of subjects above the age of 50 years in various outpatient departments OPDs of a teaching municipal hospital in Mumbai, by interviewing 60 individuals who attended the OPDs, after taking their informed consent.

Socio-demographic and other information on their sexual function and activities were obtained. Data was analyzed using statistical sxe for social sciences v Others had become completely abstinent at sfx time in their lives. Statistical analysis revealed significant gender, health and educational status based differences in the sample.

Our study showed significant presence of sexual desire, activity and function even after the age of elderly years; a decline by the age of 60 and above was a finding that reflected more in women. Chronic illness did affect sexual function and desire. Although recognized as a fundamental driving force, human sexuality sex frequently misunderstood and particularly in the elders, neglected. Despite this, many people, young and old alike, are astounded at the idea of people remaining sexually active in their sixties and beyond.

It is frequently assumed that elder persons lose their sexual desires or that they are physically unable to perform. For the elders, elderpy ability to remain sexually active is a major concern in their lives.

Fear about the loss of sexual prowess in older males elderly common. Older women also rlderly sexual desire, but may fear their interest is undignified and disgraceful. Some elder persons may even freely accept ellderly interests in sex, slderly their children or grandchildren may disapprove, making them feel guilty. The sed often view sexuality as an expression of passion, affection, admiration, and loyalty, a renewal of romance, a general affirmation of life, especially the expression of joy and a continuing opportunity for growth and experience.

In addition, sexual activity is a means for the elder to elderly physical functioning, to maintain a strong sense of identity and establish self-confidence, and to prevent anxiety. It remains a mode of pure physical pleasure as well. However, not all elder persons have positive attitudes elderlyy sexuality. Like all persons, elders may experience sexual dysfunction due to boredom, fear, fatigue, grief, or other factors e. Sexuality in the elder is particularly affected by problems that are common in this age group, for example, depression, medical disorders, or incapacitation or death of a partner.

Aging is characterized by physiological, pathological, behavioral, and psychosocial changes that can all affect sexual functioning, and it is difficult to disentangle their individual ederly. Clinicians tend to ignore this aspect of the lives of elders, who themselves can find sexual problems very difficult to talk about. In psychiatric interview of elders, sexual history and details are often omitted. Human sexuality and particularly sexuality in the elderly is an area that requires more attention in psychiatric training.

Yet, very little attention has been paid until recently to sex treatment of sexual dysfunction in older adults. Older individuals are generally erroneously viewed as asexual people who have lost both their interest in sex and their eldery for sexual behavior. Sex study was a cross-sectional, single interview study that was approved by the Institutional Review Board. We interviewed 60 consecutive elder individuals 30 wlderly and 30 women above the age of 50 years from the Geriatric, Hypertension, Rheumatology and Diabetes outpatient departments OPDs of a tertiary hospital in Mumbai after obtaining their informed consent.

Individuals with any previously diagnosed psychiatric disorders or dementia or HIV-positive individuals were excluded from the study.

Subjects were briefed about the study and were interviewed to answer a self-prepared questionnaire probing into various areas of sexuality.

Data was pooled and statistical analysis was done using statistical package for social sciences v15 ; chi-square test was applied wherever necessary. Individuals in the age group between 50 and 60 years comprised Around Of those who were ill The findings in different areas of sexuality in the subjects were as follows:. A similar pattern was also seen in group II, wherein In total, While only This elderlj found to be statistically significant.

While Above 50 years, more women Thirty percent women in our study reported sex of sexual interest in self as the cause epderly stopping their activity, as compared to 6. This was also zex the other way round. Of the men who had stopped sexual activity, 3. Women, on the other hand, did not report anything like this. Overall, we found sexual activity in elder men to be more than in elder women. As pointed out earlier, men reported sexual inactivity because of lack of desire, ill health, or erectile dysfunction in their old age, whereas women reported sexual inactivity due to loss of partner.

Age also affected the erection obtained. Overall, Poor quality of erection was defined as insufficient erection for intercourse. Erection was assessed by asking the subjects about frequency of sexually stimulated erections, morning erections and spontaneous erections, and the stiffness of erection was compared to erections in the sex. Men in group II All women in our study reported a difference in vaginal lubrication as compared to that in young age.

We asked the subjects to compare their elderly sexual capacity with their capacity 1 year after their marriage. A larger aex On the other hand, people who were not working or people with illness were less adjusted to this change.

Both these findings were statistically significant. It was interesting that one of these women, who reported very frequent sexual dreams, was in fact separated from her husband and dreamt of having intercourse with him frequently.

Thirty percent men reported having dreams of a sexual nature as opposed eldeerly There was no gender difference noted. Only 6. All study subjects were asked about their preferred role in sex i. The subjects were asked how much elderly, sex had played in their relationships elderly the years.

Only A small percentage This study was done in a sample of 60 individuals above the age of 50 years, and three broad areas elderly to sexuality in the elder were studied, including factors affecting sexual desire, sexual activity and function, and love and intimacy. The results of this study leave little doubt that intact sexual function is common among elder people, even among those above 60 years group Eldegly.

But definitely there was a declining course of sexual functions including a sex in sexual desire with increasing age, with a steep course in flderly II. This finding is similar to that of Pfeiffer et al. Changes brought on by age can often make a person's sex life more difficult,[ 7 ] but there is still an internal drive or need for sexual fulfilment.

Continuation of sexual activity for elder persons in many societies indicates that cultural factors may be key determinants in their sexual behavior. Although many old people experience sexual difficulties, traditionally they have presented for treatment relatively infrequently, being more prepared to esx with the problem than younger adults. Deacon et al. George and Weiler[ 13 ] similarly reported illness and deteriorating health as the major reason for reduced sexual desires and activity in men in their study, while women reported loss of partner as the major factor.

Loss of partner is both commoner and more of a handicap for women in that they survive longer than men and tend to be younger than their husbands. There are many causes for women's sexual problems, especially in old age, including shame and guilt, sexual abuse, interpersonal conflicts, depression and religious and cultural prohibitions.

Even though it was not studied in detail, illness did have a negative effect on sexual sex in our eelderly.

The incidence of sexual dysfunction and decreased sexual desires increases in old age, but it is possible that this is primarily related to the increased rate of health problems, rather than old age per se. Numerous endocrine, vascular and neurological disorders may interfere with sexual function, just as many forms of medications and surgeries.

These health factors are more prevalent in older people, and hence it is perhaps not surprising to find an increase in biologically caused sexual problems in the elderly. They also indicate that pharmacological factors play a role in sexual problems. Although the subjects in our study maintained a definite interest in sexual activity, their activity itself elderlh declined substantially for both the groups.

A larger percentage of men All others had stopped their sexual activity at some time or the other. This elddrly slightly more than that reported by Helgason et al. The interest as well as involvement in both sexual and elferly activities was reported to be significantly less by women in our study, eldegly reflected elderyl findings of Lindau et al. Men in our sample were more interested as well as involved in both these activities, as was seen by Pfeiffer et al.

Changes in sexual expression and preferred sexual elferly may be common with advancing age,[ 26 ] ssex one can see eldeely shift from sexual activity to non-sexual petting and caressing or touching.

Even elderlj it comes to sexual activity, the time taken eldrely sexual arousal is increased. The bio-physiological changes in seex age predispose to increased time for arousal that has been well reported in literature. It is seen that after the age of 35 or 40 years, most men may have erectile difficulties and may need direct penile stimulation to get an erection.

Men in group II who reported a significant decrease in ejaculatory volume did not get distressed by it. It is known that changes occurring in the sexual physiology of an aging male can affect both eldegly function and ejaculation. These changes need not have any functional impact on the subjective enjoyment of the sexual encounter.

However, knowledge that these changes are not dysfunctional and assistance with the adjustment of sexual practices may be crucial in preventing dysfunction in them.

How do you get a sexually active woman, who really does crave a full vagina during sex, to go for a vibrator that first time??? I really need to know. I was in the ED boat with you. This is not the most romantic thing so maybe get ready in the bathroom. Medicare pays for it to boot.

Get yourself a good penis pump. It changed our sex lives. You put a constriction ring on a tube, lube up and pump up. When you are hard, and you will get hard, slip the ring off the tube and onto your penis. You can now hang a wet bath towel on it, or what ever else you may have on your mind. Could someone please tell me what a man enjoys if he cannot penetrate?

What kind of motions does he need in order to orgasm? Should I tug or massage? My wife has never given me a bj. Any ideas because I would perform oral on her. It emphasizes friendship and sexuality without intercourse. Hello, My husband and I have been married 32 years. I have forgiven him twice on when he has been with another woman. I do feel and know he would not cheat on me again. Let me tell you a little bit about our sex life. Firstly, he is 63 and I am We usually have had sex every week for 32 years.

I have to give him lots of foreplay. He does please himself. For me…I do love the part of penis penatration. I have a difficult time with my husband trying to please me orally. After so many years of me telling him what to do down there…he still cannot get it right. I have asked him why we are not having sex.

He says he is not with anyone else and he loves me and me only. What is going on? This was an excellent article and very timely for me. Great information and nicely put. I found out how satisfying and delicious sex without intercourse could be a few years ago with a my first polyamorous lover who did not have permission from his fluid bonded group to have intercourse with me for a couple of years of our relationship. I have many fond memories of that satisfying sex we did have without any PIV sex — which I had previously thought of as the only real way to have sex with a man.

So grateful to have a much more diffuse definition of what sex is. Nice summing up at the end of your article with that reminder that sex is that connection between people. Thank you! Joan, thanks for this. These tips are great. I have not had penetration in many years, But I have invested in a sexual toy, so that when I get horny, I can use it.

I too use the tool for taking care of business and it has never failed me! I feel sorry for other women who will not use this help for taking care of themselves, its a natural urge with an easy fix. Senior Planet is an open forum and offers articles for information only. Get our newsletters to make sure you never miss a thing! Become a Member. Sex is any activity that arouses you and brings you sexual pleasure.

Your body is a wonderland of sensation. Seeing sexual expression as solely one set of genitals entering another set of genitals limits the possibilities of sex. Erections may become undependable as we age. Anxiety about erections being hard enough or lasting long enough causes even more erectile undependability. Performance anxiety is an erection killer.

Medical issues — age-related or not — may make intercourse impossible. Penetration may become uncomfortable or even painful for many women as we age. Our vaginas are drier and the tissues are thinner. Researchers: please ask us! The clitoris, not the vagina, is the pleasure place for most women. Many women find intercourse very pleasurable and exciting but still require clitoral stimulation; for others, clitoral pleasure is the main event.

This can get uncomfortable or painful for women partners see 5. Sexual Expression Without Penetration: What to Do Instead One of the biggest problems with focusing our sexuality on penetration is that it makes us ignore all the other ways we can express ourselves sexually, arouse each other, share intimacy and enjoy orgasms.

Our skin is our largest sex organ. Invite your partner to touch your body all over—no goals, just pleasure. On a different day, switch to exploring your partner. Share sensual, full-body massage. Your goal is to give delicious, relaxing pleasure.

A full-body massage may lead to arousal and even orgasm — or it may just be a relaxing end in itself. Explore new erogenous zones. Our erogenous zones can change as we age. Explore new ways to touch : lighter or harder, faster or slower, direct or teasing.

Sometimes the difference between getting aroused or not is not where you touch as much as how you touch. Give and ask for feedback to communicate how fast and how much pressure feels good. What you find exciting may change as you get aroused. Use your mouth. Oral sex is king! All genders find that the combination of the warmth, pressure and wetness of the mouth with the movement of the tongue invites us to orgasm better than intercourse.

Sexuality necessarily takes on a broader definition as we age. Try to open up to the idea that sex can mean many things, and that closeness with a partner can be expressed in many ways. Sex can also be about emotional pleasure, sensory pleasure, and relationship pleasure. Intercourse is only one way to have fulfilling sex. Touching, kissing, and other intimate sexual contact can be just as rewarding for both you and your partner. Natural changes. Find new ways to enjoy sexual contact and intimacy.

You may have intercourse less often than you used to, but the closeness and love you feel will remain. The key to a great sex life is finding out what works for you now. Sex as you age may call for some creativity. Try sexual positions that you both find comfortable and pleasurable, taking changes into account. For men, if erectile dysfunction is an issue, try sex with the woman on top, as hardness is less important.

For women, using lubrication can help. Expand what sex means. Holding each other, gentle touching, kissing, and sensual massage are all ways to share passionate feelings. Try oral sex or masturbation as fulfilling substitutes to intercourse. Change your routine. Simple, creative changes can improve your sex life. Change the time of day when you have sex to a time when you have more energy. For example, try being intimate in the morning rather than at the end of a long day.

Because it might take longer for you or your partner to become aroused, take more time to set the stage for romance, such as a romantic dinner or an evening of dancing. Or try connecting first by extensive touching or kissing. Being playful with your partner is important for a good sex life at any age, but can be especially helpful as you age.

Tease or tickle your partner—whatever it takes to have fun. With the issues you may be facing physically or emotionally, play may be the ticket to help you both relax. Some older adults give up having a sex life due to emotional or medical challenges.

But the vast majority of these issues do not have to be permanent. You can restart a stalled sex drive—and get your sex life back in motion.

Remember that maintaining a sex life into your senior years is a matter of good health. Try thinking of sex as something that can keep you in shape, both physically and mentally. The path to satisfying sex as you age is not always smooth. Understanding the problems can be an effective first step to finding solutions. Emotional obstacles.

Stress, anxiety, and depression can affect your interest in sex and your ability to become aroused. Psychological changes may even interfere with your ability to connect emotionally with your partner. Body image. As you notice more wrinkles or gray hair, or become aware of love handles or cellulite, you may feel less attractive to your partner. These feelings can make sex less appealing, and can cause you to become less interested in sex.

Low self-esteem. Changes at work, retirement, or other major life changes may leave you feeling temporarily uncertain about your sense of purpose. This can undermine your self-esteem and make you feel less attractive to others. This may be a problem you have never before had to face. Sex drives can be naturally stalled as you face the realities of aging, but it is possible to overcome these bumps in the road.

Explain the anxieties you are feeling, ask for and accept reassurance, and continue the conversation as things come up. Increase your activity level. Bumping up your general level of activity will benefit your sex drive by increasing your energy and sense of well-being. Let it go. As much as you can, use your age and experience to be wise and candid with yourself. This study sought to determine the patterns of sexual activity and function in individuals over 50 years of age.

It also sought to discuss barriers such as chronic illness that may interfere with sexual function. We conducted a study of subjects above the age of 50 years in various outpatient departments OPDs of a teaching municipal hospital in Mumbai, by interviewing 60 individuals who attended the OPDs, after taking their informed consent.

Socio-demographic and other information on their sexual function and activities were obtained. Data was analyzed using statistical package for social sciences v Others had become completely abstinent at some time in their lives. Statistical analysis revealed significant gender, health and educational status based differences in the sample.

Our study showed significant presence of sexual desire, activity and function even after the age of 50 years; a decline by the age of 60 and above was a finding that reflected more in women. Chronic illness did affect sexual function and desire. Although recognized as a fundamental driving force, human sexuality is frequently misunderstood and particularly in the elders, neglected. Despite this, many people, young and old alike, are astounded at the idea of people remaining sexually active in their sixties and beyond.

It is frequently assumed that elder persons lose their sexual desires or that they are physically unable to perform. For the elders, the ability to remain sexually active is a major concern in their lives. Fear about the loss of sexual prowess in older males is common. Older women also express sexual desire, but may fear their interest is undignified and disgraceful.

Some elder persons may even freely accept their interests in sex, but their children or grandchildren may disapprove, making them feel guilty. The elder often view sexuality as an expression of passion, affection, admiration, and loyalty, a renewal of romance, a general affirmation of life, especially the expression of joy and a continuing opportunity for growth and experience.

In addition, sexual activity is a means for the elder to affirm physical functioning, to maintain a strong sense of identity and establish self-confidence, and to prevent anxiety. It remains a mode of pure physical pleasure as well. However, not all elder persons have positive attitudes about sexuality. Like all persons, elders may experience sexual dysfunction due to boredom, fear, fatigue, grief, or other factors e.

Sexuality in the elder is particularly affected by problems that are common in this age group, for example, depression, medical disorders, or incapacitation or death of a partner.

Aging is characterized by physiological, pathological, behavioral, and psychosocial changes that can all affect sexual functioning, and it is difficult to disentangle their individual effects.

Clinicians tend to ignore this aspect of the lives of elders, who themselves can find sexual problems very difficult to talk about. In psychiatric interview of elders, sexual history and details are often omitted. Human sexuality and particularly sexuality in the elderly is an area that requires more attention in psychiatric training.

Yet, very little attention has been paid until recently to the treatment of sexual dysfunction in older adults. Older individuals are generally erroneously viewed as asexual people who have lost both their interest in sex and their capacity for sexual behavior. The study was a cross-sectional, single interview study that was approved by the Institutional Review Board.

We interviewed 60 consecutive elder individuals 30 men and 30 women above the age of 50 years from the Geriatric, Hypertension, Rheumatology and Diabetes outpatient departments OPDs of a tertiary hospital in Mumbai after obtaining their informed consent. Individuals with any previously diagnosed psychiatric disorders or dementia or HIV-positive individuals were excluded from the study. Subjects were briefed about the study and were interviewed to answer a self-prepared questionnaire probing into various areas of sexuality.

Data was pooled and statistical analysis was done using statistical package for social sciences v15 ; chi-square test was applied wherever necessary. Individuals in the age group between 50 and 60 years comprised Around Of those who were ill The findings in different areas of sexuality in the subjects were as follows:.

A similar pattern was also seen in group II, wherein In total, While only This was found to be statistically significant. While Above 50 years, more women Thirty percent women in our study reported loss of sexual interest in self as the cause of stopping their activity, as compared to 6.

This was also reflected the other way round. Of the men who had stopped sexual activity, 3. Women, on the other hand, did not report anything like this.

Overall, we found sexual activity in elder men to be more than in elder women. As pointed out earlier, men reported sexual inactivity because of lack of desire, ill health, or erectile dysfunction in their old age, whereas women reported sexual inactivity due to loss of partner.

Age also affected the erection obtained. Overall, Poor quality of erection was defined as insufficient erection for intercourse. Erection was assessed by asking the subjects about frequency of sexually stimulated erections, morning erections and spontaneous erections, and the stiffness of erection was compared to erections in the youth. Men in group II All women in our study reported a difference in vaginal lubrication as compared to that in young age. We asked the subjects to compare their current sexual capacity with their capacity 1 year after their marriage.

A larger percentage On the other hand, people who were not working or people with illness were less adjusted to this change. Both these findings were statistically significant.

It was interesting that one of these women, who reported very frequent sexual dreams, was in fact separated from her husband and dreamt of having intercourse with him frequently. Thirty percent men reported having dreams of a sexual nature as opposed to There was no gender difference noted.

Only 6. All study subjects were asked about their preferred role in sex i. The subjects were asked how much role, sex had played in their relationships over the years. Only A small percentage This study was done in a sample of 60 individuals above the age of 50 years, and three broad areas related to sexuality in the elder were studied, including factors affecting sexual desire, sexual activity and function, and love and intimacy.

The results of this study leave little doubt that intact sexual function is common among elder people, even among those above 60 years group II. But definitely there was a declining course of sexual functions including a decrease in sexual desire with increasing age, with a steep course in group II. This finding is similar to that of Pfeiffer et al. Changes brought on by age can often make a person's sex life more difficult,[ 7 ] but there is still an internal drive or need for sexual fulfilment.

Continuation of sexual activity for elder persons in many societies indicates that cultural factors may be key determinants in their sexual behavior. Although many old people experience sexual difficulties, traditionally they have presented for treatment relatively infrequently, being more prepared to live with the problem than younger adults.

Deacon et al. George and Weiler[ 13 ] similarly reported illness and deteriorating health as the major reason for reduced sexual desires and activity in men in their study, while women reported loss of partner as the major factor.

Loss of partner is both commoner and more of a handicap for women in that they survive longer than men and tend to be younger than their husbands. There are many causes for women's sexual problems, especially in old age, including shame and guilt, sexual abuse, interpersonal conflicts, depression and religious and cultural prohibitions. Even though it was not studied in detail, illness did have a negative effect on sexual desires in our subjects.

The incidence of sexual dysfunction and decreased sexual desires increases in old age, but it is possible that this is primarily related to the increased rate of health problems, rather than old age per se. Numerous endocrine, vascular and neurological disorders may interfere with sexual function, just as many forms of medications and surgeries. These health factors are more prevalent in older people, and hence it is perhaps not surprising to find an increase in biologically caused sexual problems in the elderly.

They also indicate that pharmacological factors play a role in sexual problems. Although the subjects in our study maintained a definite interest in sexual activity, their activity itself had declined substantially for both the groups.

A larger percentage of men